how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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