I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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