What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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