I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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