Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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