I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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