Umm I'm too high to move.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize