Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize