if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize