In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize