Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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