Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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