like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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