am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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