bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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