I think my vagina is haunted
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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