I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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