Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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