he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize