1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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