One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
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Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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