i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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