just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize