so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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