Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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