how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize