So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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