Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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