Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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