It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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