I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize