I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize