i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
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I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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