my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize