This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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