It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize