Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize