If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
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I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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