Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
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Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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