In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
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See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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