I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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