i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize