Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize