wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize