Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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