Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize