I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
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I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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