I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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