But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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