if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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